To 27

My birthday is next Thursday – I’m not someone who hides from their birthday. I run towards it, embrace it, and unashamedly, pull a Lily Aldrin.

 

My birthday is, pretty much, the only day that I insist Matt take off from work every year. It’s not that I need to be strewn with extravagant gifts or anything, I just like having one day where I am absolutely in charge. I can drag Matt around town, and he can’t tell me that he’s tired or grumpy, because it’s my birthday. Which is funny, because it’s not like he puts up a fight the other 364 days of the year.

I digress. Not only do I like my birthday to be a superhappyhyperfunday, I like to take a moment to reflect on where I’ve been and where I’d like to go. I tend to hope that by checking in a couple times a year and fighting complacency, I’ll avoid the terrifying “mid life crises” that have struck my friends in their early 30′s. I keep trying to remind them that mid life crises aren’t supposed to happen until your 40′s or 50′s, but apparently my friends have a grim sense of mortality.

That said, I sat in the parking lot this week while Matt was in his guitar lesson, and I made a list of ‘who I want to be this year’… Here are some of the things I wrote down,

I do not want to procrastinate, but to get things done as soon as possible, and not let them become a problem.

I do not want to make decisions governed by fear. (Alternatively: I don’t want to not make a decision because of fear.)

I want to care more about the world around me by giving back. I want to be a kinder person.

I want to write more – and finish Roselyn’s Legacy.

I want to be proactive in my relationships, in my work, my choice, and my hobbies.

I want to be more organized and more considerate of my living space.

I do not want to wait for things to happen, but to take responsibility for my life and my time.

In summary: I’m too passive and indecisive. I don’t want to be so passive that I don’t get things accomplished. In order to do that, I’m going to take responsibility for things and just do them, rather than counting all of the what-if’s.

Here’s to year 27.

 

 

Meeting Raphael Sbarge

I’ve been a fan of Raphael Sbarge since I first played Kotor. Carth Onasi was my favorite character, and Kotor became my favorite game up until I discovered Mass Effect. With his work as Kaidan in the Mass Effect trilogy, as Jiminy Cricket on ONCE, he is without a doubt, my favorite voice actor. I never seriously thought that I’d get the chance to meet him.

But Saturday, I did. (Squee!)

I’ve never heard a negative thing about him from anyone who has met him, and he did not disappoint. He is incredibly nice, and seems to be as honored to meet his fans as they are him. Nothing was rushed, Matt and I got to chat with him a little bit, and I totally got a hug. Sbarge is really one of the nicest people I’ve ever met, period! It makes me want to be a nicer, more generous person too.

I also got this sweet autograph, which I keep trying to insist to Matt is my birthday present and that I don’t need anything further.

DSC01690we

Unfortunately, due to the ridiculous crowds that day, (they were much higher than anyone, even the con folks, were expecting, due to Stan Lee being there) there was a lot of confusion, and I missed out on Sbarge’s Q&A. I’m really sad about that, but what I did get was absolutely wonderful.

If you ever get the opportunity to meet him, go for it, as you will not regret it. If you haven’t played Knights of the Old Republic or the Mass Effect games, do that too. They’re a lot of fun, with a superb cast and writing. Kotor frequently goes on sale via Steam, so you can pick it up for as little as $2.99 – though you may need a little tweaking to get it to play well with Windows 7.

DSC01688we

Hopefully we’ll get to see more of Raphael Sbarge in season 3 of Once Upon a Time, and I know from his facebook that he’s got other appearances in the works, too. Hopefully within a couple of years, it’ll include another video game for me to love to pieces!

Home Sweet (future) Home

I feel like Matt and I have spent all but the first few months of marriage looking for a place to live.

I liked our first apartment a lot – probably because it was mine, it was spacious compared to where I had been living, and I got to have my Mikenna back. It wasn’t a great place. The a/c didn’t work, everything was outdated, and one of the neighbors let their cat roam in the corridor, and it would bring in and dismantle birds.
Still, I was pretty sad when we got flooded out and into another building.

That apartment I truly disliked. The nicest thing I can say about it, is that it had some great sunshine. It was drafty, the carpet was well past expiration when we moved in, and it was so loud. I felt like we were living in a cheap motel, so at the first chance of moving out, we bolted.

This apartment was the best we could afford on peanuts. It was ever-so-slightly closer for Matt, and in a nicer general area. Only having one set of neighbors in direct contact with us was a great improvement over three, and this place was a lot nicer than where we’d been. At the time, the building was inhabited by quiet, drama-free families, until the “dudebro” moved in above us. Even then, we only heard him during soccer games.
But no sooner had we moved in here, than we began to think about moving down to Virginia. But to be honest, we were doing little more than going from paycheck to paycheck, with no real ability to save up the money to move across the country. We began to dream of entrepreneurship at a time when the economy made no promises of obtaining a steady job.
Unfortunately, in that desperate hope, we put our eggs into the basket of an untrustworthy individual. But we never actually settled in here because we planned to leave.

I can’t tell you for sure that this is what happened, but I think when the economy in Michigan tanked, a lot of people left, and the complex lowered their standards. When the families in our building moved out one by one, their replacements got increasingly strange. I’ll leave it at that. While we’ve liked the apartment itself, it’s become an uncomfortable place to live at times, what with the neighbors who got their toilet unbolted from the floor and flooded our bathroom off and on for a year.

When that debacle started, we began looking for apartments in Michigan again. When the company Matt works for decided to move even further south, we knew we would have to find a place. We’ve been slowly combing through apartments in a 20-30 mile radius, looking for something that would be worth moving to. Yes, we’re picky, but once you’ve cleaned up your neighbor’s toilet water for the fourth time, I think you’ve earned it. One by one, we’d find a place that seemed fairly promising, only to have some red flag pop up.

I would say that it’s been discouraging, but I don’t feel like that accurately describes it. It’s been downright depressing, trying to find a place that fits our needs (takes pets, 2 bedroom, budget), maybe even our wants, in an area we were comfortable with.

While looking for office hours on the one remaining complex on our list – the one we were dragging out feet on going to look at – I saw a new one. I clicked on a whim, believing that the reason it wasn’t a contender had to do with their animal policy, but no, they were actually new.

We sat down and talked with the regional manager today, and tonight we started the application process. Incredibly, this place fits everything on our list of requirements, many, if not all of our wants, and with perks on top. It sounds like they do things because they want people to actually live in their apartments for a while and be happy, not to view it as temporary housing.

The complex has 1/10th of the units that our current complex does. Each apartment is single story – nobody above or below. Each unit has a two car garage, standard. They don’t charge a pet rent per pet – either you have pets, and pay one fee, or you don’t. Private patio. You don’t share an actual wall with your neighbors – they are separated by two layers of wall, a gap, and a firewall. Not only does it have two bedrooms, but it has a semi-separate den area, meaning that Matt and I can each have our own spaces. No more sharing the living room for us!

I could go on and on. But suffice to say, I’m excited. I really hope that this will be the place that we will settle down for a while and flourish. I am sad that we will be further from the church we’ve grown to love and our music lessons, but we will be so much closer to many of our friends, and we both feel strongly that this will be a better quality of life move for us.

Every once in a while, patience really does pay off.

Character Growth in a Series

One thing has always bothered me about The Simpsons: The series never changes.
Oh, sure, Millhouse’s parents divorced, and Maude Flanders died in that freak t-shirt canon incident, but by and large, the status quo is maintained. Homer is fired and promoted and back at his same desk – Mr. Burns never quite remembering what an incompetent employee he has. Bart, Lisa, and Maggie have been perpetually frozen in time, save for the occasional jump in time that will likely contradict another such jump.

Other series, of course, do the same thing. They take their audience into the world’s sandbox, make a huge mess, and then smooth everything out at the end. There’s nothing wrong with this approach – it allows for a unique type of storytelling in which truly fantastical things can occur in the world, because there is little need for continuity. Everything, including character death, can be swept under the rug in this context.

However, seeing characters grow, change, and learn tangible lessons from their mistakes is also interesting and, when done right, is what I prefer both as a storyteller and as a consumer.

Watching both the Dragon Ball and the Dragon Ball Z series have been interesting in this regard. Goku has gone from a little boy to a point where he is in his 30′s and has two children, one of whom is a teenager himself. Every encounter Goku has had with friends and foes has altered his character over time. There’s a small arc in Dragon Ball where Goku has to learn to both move quickly and not use his sight but feel the vibration in the air around him. Twenty odd years in series time later, Goku still remembers this lesson: When he is transported to a planet where his opponent can see in the dark but he can’t, he isn’t bothered, because he knows better.

Likewise, the attitudes of many of the recurring characters changed a fair amount after the Cell games. They are more confident in their abilities, fighting is a bit less fun for some of them, and they know not to underestimate a threat. They are still the same characters – Vegeta is up to his hair in pride and Goku still loves a good challenge – but they have been changed through their experiences. Unlike live action series, getting to see characters grow over this length of time in their world is really interesting – particularly so much care has been taken to keep the world consistent.

Another favorite show of mine – How I Met Your Mother – walks something of a middle ground. Most episodes tell their own, neatly-wrapped story, but the series itself maintains a great deal of continuity and is telling a larger story, of how Ted Mosby meets his eventual wife. The sandbox element of it is that no story has to drag on for more than one episode, Lily and Marshall’s terribly eventful dinner party will be one complete episode, as would Ted’s five minute first date with Stella. But each of those mini-stories carry some sort of action down the line – throughout the season, Ted develops a relationship with Stella that almost ends in marriage; Lily and Marshall try to be suburbanites before deciding that they’re happier in the city. But having an eventual plot point that the series is working towards, at least in theory, helps keep the character’s lives moving forward – even if it is at a fairly slow pace.

I’m sure there are lots of other examples of varying degrees of continuity and character growth within series, both in tv and print. What storytelling methods do you prefer? What series do you tend to find yourself drawn to, and what about it keeps you coming back?

Week One in May

One of my 100 things to do this year was to take a picture every day for a month. I chose May.

DSC01627we

May 1st: It was super nice out, so I decided to take Mikenna for a walk. Have you ever tried to walk a westie? It’s pretty much like being pulled along by a miniature sled dog. She pulls and leans and then suddenly stops to smell something, causing you to almost trip. (Also, this fulfills “take a walk” on my list.)DSC01629we

May 2nd: Some of my girl friends have started getting together to watch movies on a (mostly) weekly basis. On this day, Aum tried to make bacon cookies using colored sugar cookie dough. The proportions didn’t turn out right, but dude, I thought they looked neat.DSC01631we

May 3rd: We don’t often have wine or really, anything other than water and sodastream. We picked this up a few months ago. I have no idea what good wine tastes like, but this was okay. Matt picked it out, in case you couldn’t take a wild guess.DSC01633weMay 4th: Man, this was an incredibly long day for me. But, I got to go hang out with our friends and play board games. I’m a solid introvert, but I love our friends. These board game days have been a particular treat, and I laughed a lot. DSC01634weMay 5th: So, this is what church looks like. Kind of. Technically, this is practice, before church. I run the projector, Matt plays guitar. We get up at “way too early o’clock” for it, but I really like our church, so it’s worth it to me.DSC01637weMay 6th: Matt went a bit over on his oil change – so I encouraged him to take the time to get one after work, even though he usually goes on weekends. As it would turn out, that was a good thing. They tested his battery, and the results were something along the lines of, “Please, don’t drive around on this battery!” – They were out of stock on the one he’d need, so they found him a battery, even though they wouldn’t get a profit from it, and sent him directly to go get it. We’ve been throwing a lot of money into that Jeep lately, which makes me rather cranky. But, I do appreciate the oil change place we go to – we’re up there often enough to have built a rapport with them, and they’ve never steered us wrong.DSC01654weMay 7th: I’ve been the DM in our group’s DnD campaign for around two years, I think? (We’ve had a few rather lengthy hiatuses) We’re getting ready to wrap up in the next few sessions, with one final assault on the big bad guy’s tower. I decided that I’d give them the ‘what’s what’ first, rather than making them be totally surprised – I thought, hey, maybe they’d want to have a strategy or something!

Not so much, really, but whatever. This group keeps me in stitches and gives me concussions from whacking my head on the table at their antics.

I decided to make maps, not for the miniatures, but for kicks. I used stamps, which was kind of funny, because, I mean … it’s not like my stamps are for this purpose. Frankly, we’re lucky I didn’t use “hooray for you!” as a dungeon marker. They’re simple and silly, but fun to make.

Making Characters Squirm

The following post contains light to moderate spoilers for the tv series Downton Abbey (season 2), as well as the Mistborn novels by Brandon Sanderson. You have been warned.

Any writer worth their salt has seen some version of the following advice:
You have to hurt your characters, make them squirm, to hit them where it hurts, in order to make the story compelling and (somewhat) realistic.

As a reader, these are the moments when you cry out “What?! NO!!” and frantically turn the page. They’re the cliffhangers, the emotionally charged moments that keep you reading. My mentor advised me to check out The Hunger Games because the author does a good job of ending the chapter with these moments. As a writer, this is something to work on, to make your book impossible to put down. These emotional roller coasters can’t be too contrived, because your audience will see right through that. But if you can time your shocking revelation or moment of peril to the end of the chapter, so much the better.

One of my favorite examples of this lately is the Mistborn trilogy, by Brandon Sanderson. If you want to read through a series of great examples on how to torment your characters, this is a great one. (It’s a great read anyway, but this is one reason I respect it as a writer.) He is a master at tough love for his characters. Have trust issues because of your tough upbringing? The character will be thrown into working with a tight-knit crew. More comfortable in the shadows, being unseen? Character will need to infiltrate society in a very public way. Is a character unknowingly being held back by their attachment to another? That character will have to be killed off or removed in some other capacity. It’s very difficult not to squirm right alongside the characters.

Along those lines, Ender’s Game is another great, if more obvious, example. Any time Ender got too comfortable in a situation, finally got things under control, the powers that be would change the rules, sometimes turning his world upside down in a literal fashion. Ender showed his frustration, and that made the scenario work.

We just finished watching season 2 of Downton Abbey this afternoon, which is what motivated me to write on this topic a bit. Matt made a comment to the effect of, “This is how you write Downton Abbey: Take the likeable characters and dump all over them. Let good things happen to the unlikeable ones, and if they do get their comeuppance, make sure it isn’t too harsh.”

I think that is, basically, what makes Downton Abbey so riveting. The story drives you to become quickly invested in these characters, who will then see only the briefest glimpses of happiness before something falls apart. When the ‘paragon’ characters step out of line, their fall from grace is swift and their climb to redemption is steep. Meanwhile, the ‘renegade’ characters jump over the line just begging to be caught. What makes Downton “chapter turning” is the deeply held, yet quiet belief that everything must work out for our heroes, eventually, and our villains must be defeated.

Nothing in the Downton universe comes easily for the characters. Matthew and Mary’s arc is the most obvious example, with almost every possible obstacle coming between them. Sybil has both inner conflict and very tangible problems to deal with in her relationship with Branson. Even Thomas, oh, dear, I-want-nothing-more-than-for-him-to-get-punched-in-the-jaw Thomas, had to work to get back into the good graces of Lord Grantham. Who among us weren’t smugly satisfied when he turned up covered in dirt and scrapes after his unsuccessful search for Isis, only to have her run up to him once returning home? (And who wasn’t more than a little disappointed when Thomas was promoted?)

These are good things to remember. Nothing of value, nothing satisfying, should ever be handed to your characters, no matter what their station in life. If the character values it, they must work to obtain it. This is why characters need fleshed out personalities and backgrounds – why authors need to understand more about their characters than is explicitly spelled out on paper – because they need to know their characters’ currency.

Everything in your universe needs to have a cost, to have strings attached. Sometimes, the price will be more than your characters can willingly sacrifice – in which case, it may need to be paid for them. (I’m thinking of Luke losing Obi-Wan, here.)

Don’t be afraid to make your characters squirm. Don’t treat them with kid gloves. Your readers will be able to tell, and your story will be lackluster for it.

 

The Exit Strategy

Over the past few years, I’ve seen quite a number of programs aimed at helping people quit their day jobs. The recurring theme is this: You hate your job, you want out, here’s the foolproof way to do it! (For an investment of anywhere from $199 – $2000)

Some of it offers practical advice, such as developing a six month cushion of money before jumping ship, considering insurance needs, and so on. The meat of these courses though, seems to be about optimizing websites, social media accounts, and marketing. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with all of that, but I noticed one thing consistently missing: craft.

A few years ago, the ‘surefire’ way to be able to quit your job was to become a web designer. Any monkey with an internet connection can install wordpress (they said). As a result, the market became saturated. So, having seen all of these people become web designers on their advice, the first wave became life coaches. Then that caught on, and they turned to e-books on successful blogging and selling speaking engagements.

I suspect that there have been a lot more people out there who have done entrepreneurial web design than actually care about it. There’s nothing wrong with that, at one time or another, we all work on things that we don’t care about. But if you’re going to go through the effort of quitting your job to do something else, shouldn’t that be something you’re passionate about? Something that you’re not going to get tired of in three years? Shouldn’t step one of quit your job/follow your dreams be to hone your craft?

If you start your own business venture, it is going to be more work than you can imagine. Not only do you have to be competent at the trade, but you need to manage your bookkeeping, protect your image, and do all of your own marketing. Personally, I don’t think that anyone in their right mind should do it unless they absolutely adore and can’t live without their craft.

I understand that there are many people out there who want so badly to get away from their day jobs that they’ll jump at the chance to do something else that promises success – even if they don’t enjoy it. The Boy and I were there not that long ago, trapped in a dead-end, thankless job. I wasn’t comfortable letting him making the jump to freelancer when we had the opportunity, because my gut told me no. It turned out to be a good thing, but, I wish instead of a beat of desperation, there had been the encouragement to get really good at the thing you love.

I think that, overall, that type of message would be a lot more successful. If you need to have an exit strategy for your job, focus less on the short schemes and break your (metaphorical) back becoming a pro at the thing you love. Do that, and then find a way to make your talent and art known to others. It seems like a more genuine, more natural approach. Try to sell something you don’t believe in, and eventually others will know. Maybe it’s because your quality of work starts to slip as your attention fades, maybe it’s just the lack of a spark in the way you talk about it. A poorly made, but well-marketed product/service will not hold up over time. Make sure what you offer is solid and important to you, then worry about the fancy packaging.

What is the absolute worst case scenario if you get very good at something you love, but can’t make a living from it? You’ll still be doing something you love, and probably at least make ‘pizza and beer’ money if you do some marketing. Don’t wait until you can or must do something full time in order to work hard at it. If you love it, if you want to improve at it, do it now.

365 Days

Day365

So, about 365 Days ago, I decided that I was going to try and write every day. I wanted to hit 100 days.

Once I did that, I decided to keep going, just to see how long I could go. I really didn’t think I’d make it to 200. But then I did. At that point, I realized that I was over halfway there, and I should aim for the full 365.

I would like to say that after one full year of writing, I’d have some profound advice. Unfortunately, I don’t.

On the whole, I am a better writer because of the sheer amount of words that I’ve plunked down. I don’t think it’s possible to do something for that long without some improvement. I could have improved a lot more if more of those words were spent on actual writing projects rather than words for the sake of words. But the result is that writing is fairly well burned into my mind.

Writing on a daily basis is not an easy thing, even if all you’re doing is emptying out mind sludge. There have been days when I simply didn’t feel like it, and the pages heard about it. There have been days where I squeaked my 750 words in just under the wire, and there have been days where I rambled for 1500. But I wrote, and I wrote … and I wrote.

It is my intention to ‘step up my game’ now, to not just write, but to write diligently, and to work on projects. I still aim to query Roselyn’s Legacy by the end of the year, but if that doesn’t happen, I want to have made substantial progress on it, not to have failed because I stopped working.

If you want to write, do it. Write every day. Write about how dirty your carpet is, about how your head is pounding, about how you don’t want to write at all. But start writing, and go from there. Write every day, and if I might offer my experience – do try to write in the morning, if you can. I know. I’m not a morning person by any stretch of the imagination. And if I had to get up early in the morning, I might change my tune. But once the day gets spinning, it’s so easy to put things off or lose track of them. Anything that is so important to you, should be done as early as possible.

What’s next?

Well, I’m going to keep writing. There’s still a 500 day badge out there, and well, I’m more than halfway there. I want to hunker down and continue editing Roselyn’s Legacy, and continue cultivating the story that The Boy and I are working on. I’ve also decided to start working on little short scenes, just to try out different writing muscles.

I also started a Facebook page. Truth be told, I feel so silly doing it. But I think it’s a necessary step. I am a writer, and that’s what you do now. Time to start building that fan base so that when the time comes, it’s one more thing in my corner. Having hammered out my pen name, I went ahead and set up the page. It would be fantastic if you would ‘like’ it for me.

Here’s to another 365 days, and all of the 365 days after that.